October Dreams

I've been having dreams about my next child. I'm pretty convinced the Spanish Lady and I are having a girl, so, in these dreams, I have a little daughter running around, being rather girly. She's more outspoken than Bug, and kind of bossy. What I've noticed about my own feelings, though, is that I have less anxiety, and fewer competitive emotions associated with this baby than I did with the first. It's got me thinking about first children in general, and what a scary thing it must be to break in a set of parents (or at least a wound-up dad). I can't help but look at C. differently now. His hesitance, and natural introversion must hide a pretty deep well of determination. I don't think I spend enough time empathising with my son. Whenever I start to, I realize how daunting his world really is. Maybe I'll cut him a break for carrying two stuffed animals, and a comfort blanket wherever he goes.